It’s perhaps the only word that simultaneously conveys desire, pleasure, orgasm, and loss of control, according to a recent paper in Sexuality & Culture. And that’s exactly why it’s so packed with erotic potential.

But before you spout off, “I want to make you come,” make sure you’ve actually done so in the past—otherwise the word may just make her feel pressured to perform, says Lorraine. (Likewise, if your partner is rarely able to climax, this shouldn’t be your go-to line.)

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You can even try a little reverse psychology: “Play with orgasm control, like ‘You’re not allowed to come,’” says Jaiya. “Playing with that word within a power dynamic can be really hot.”