Rob Dier: Help. He's killing me. He's killing me.

Axel: (Nurse Morgan starts to leave) Hey, hey. Where you going?
Nurse Morgan: I'll tell you where I'm going! I'm going crazy!

Axel: (Jason's hand falls on Axel and Nurse Morgan) Jesus Christmas! Holy Jesus! Goddamn! Holy Jesus jumping Christmas shit!

Tommy: Die! Die! Die! Die!

Tommy: (after watching the teens skinny-dipping) Some pack of patootsies, huh?
Trish: Tommy!

Jimmy: Ted. I think... I think when we get to town I should call Betty.
Ted: Jimbo, calling Betty is definitely a dead fuck thing to do. Look, first rule of love: never get rejected by the same girl twice, I mean that's useless. If you want to make a fool out of yourself, always do it with someone new.
Jimmy: I don't know anyone new.
Ted: Well, sex is a great way to meet them.

Samantha: Come on, Sara. Strip and dip.
Sara: Sam, I said no.
Samantha: Well then, I'm gonna go under and stay under until you do.

Ted: And Jimbo, don't be such a dead fuck.
Jimmy: I told you... I told you that I didn't like that.

Nurse Morgan: Axel, you are the Super Bowl of self-abuse!

Axel: I'm free, doll.
Nurse Morgan: And a bargain at twice the price.
Axel: Hey. What's the matter?
Nurse Morgan: I have a headache, Axel. For you, I always have a headache.
Axel: Oh, I can fix that. Meet me in the cold room. I'm closing up for the night. What do you say? Okay?
Nurse Morgan: Axel, I am not going to fake any more orgasms for you.

Vincent: Is this your last?
Axel: Got one more over there. A real cute girl.
Vincent: Was.
Axel: (Looks at the body) She still is. All you gotta do is go over there and take off...
Vincent: Nice talk, real nice talk. I get the top copy.

Ted: (to hitchhiker) Hey, honey, you got a sister? Ruff, ruff!

Jimmy: (shows Tina's panties) Why don't you run this through your computer, Teddy Bear?
Ted: Hey, congratulations, Jimbo.

Sara: I'm going upstairs.
Doug: Are you tired?
Sara: No.
(pause)
Sara: Do you want to sleep in the bottom bunk?
Doug: Do you want to sleep in the top bunk?
Sara: No.

Mrs. Jarvis: Someone left the front door open again.
Tommy: We're in the country.
Mrs. Jarvis: Well, what happens if a psycho wanders in?
Trish: He'd probably challenge him to a game of Zaxxon.